Bullshattuck

Hate: A Disease Worth Fighting

(This article was published in the
September 27th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle)

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As British actor Michael Caine once said, "There are only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch."

To be fair, I don't know which I hate more: people who are intolerant of Michael Caine or the British.

There are several people whom I strongly dislike. There are the people at my bank who aren't empathetic to the fact that just because I wrote out a check today, doesn't mean I need it to go through today. There's my landlord who wants his rent on -- stop me if this sounds ridiculous -- a timely basis. And then there are the people in the Financial Aid office who hold more power over my financial aid than God holds over, well, anything.

These people make my life more difficult. These people do not have independent lives and goals and dreams -- their one aspiration is to make my life more difficult. I strongly dislike these people. Should I go as far as to say, however, that such people conjure in me feelings of actual hatred?

There's a noxious poison disseminating across America, surreptitiously entering society the same way a Chris-Hansen-phobe might infiltrate a home on To Catch A Ratings Bonanza During Sweeps Week. Hatred, which previously had been reserved for those who might have morally wronged us, is now being employed as a national pastime against those who are merely different from us. Political pundits are allowed to call Muslims "towel heads" and "terrorists" under the guise of "patriotism" and "eschewing any tolerance of non-Caucasians." The word "faggot" has been used by everyone from Ann Coulter and Jerry Lewis to Isaiah Washington and people with self-esteem envy. While society dictates that Michael Richards be castigated for his unpardonable sins, the same society waters down its rage over the Jena six with a Big Gulp of apathy.

Isn't hatred for minorities justified? After all, isn't it their fault they aren't Caucasian middle-class heterosexual Christians like the rest of us? Or at the very least, the always entertaining RuPaul?

Consider the fact that, in 2005, the FBI reported that of 3,919 violent incidents motivated by race, 2,630 of these attacks were against African-Americans, as opposed to the 828 attacks against Caucasians. Of the 1,017 violent incidents motivated by sexual orientation, 971 of the attacks were against homosexual men and women, while 21 of the attacks were against heterosexual men and women. It then makes sense why some people feel hate crime laws are unnecessary, as they claim that the protection of such people is "institutionalized discrimination" and "special protection."

Of course. Who doesn't consider "not having the crap beat out of you" to be a "special protection"?

While overt hatred towards racial and sexual minorities is still rampant in some parts of society, a less understood and infrequently mentioned hatred is one of which I am guilty. I hate particular political figures and, specifically, particular political parties. While I hesitate to label myself as a Republican, Independent or Democrat (although considering the stances I take on most issues, it's clear that I prefer any political party that employs an ass as its mascot), I often find myself in that group of people that applauds the gaffes of George W. Bush and celebrate the faux pas of his conservative contemporaries. Am I any better? Can I hypocritically accuse fellow writers of being un-American for claiming that Democrats hate America, while I myself hate the very people that make such incorrect claims?

A popular radio program hosted by Ira Glass, "This American Life," recently featured the story of Sam Slaven, an Iraq War veteran who returned with strong feelings of hate and anger toward Muslims. To counter the feelings of hatred that resulted from his post-traumatic stress disorder, he took the brave step of joining the Muslim Student Association at his university, ultimately forming a life-changing friendship with a Muslim student. His story invites the interesting question: What if we were to actually communicate with those whom we supposedly hate? If we have an aversion to guns, perhaps, it might benefit us to attend the NRA. If we dislike gay people, perhaps we might learn more by attending a gay organization. If we don't understand Muslims, perhaps we might join a Muslim student group. If we aren't fond of President Bush, perhaps we might converse with most of Utah.

Hatred for blacks, Republicans, Muslims, gays, Democrats, Indians, women, Republicans, Mormons, lesbians and many others is alive and well. Just because hatred for something or someone exists doesn't mean it will go away -- look at Neil Diamond. That doesn't mean, however, that we can't eradicate such hatred by simply communicating with others. To consider ourselves American is to recognize that the American Dream applies to everyone -- therefore hatred is un-American.

If we have nothing to fear, we have no one to hate. As William Shakespeare once wrote, "In time we hate that which we often fear."

I really hope he wasn't British.

More to Fear Than Fear Itself

(This article was published in the
September 20th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle)

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The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -- and online predators, and anthrax, and public speaking, and hippies, and air travel, and clowns.

We live in a culture of fear. We're constantly warned that our toys have lead, our spinach has E. coli, and that our lesbian gangs have lesbians. We're told to worry about the decline of bees, the increase of carbon emissions and the influx of McEverything. If we don't fight the terrorists there, they'll follow us home. If a teenager masturbates, he or she will go blind. If people eat Chinese food, they'll also end up consuming MSG and/or cat. If somebody steps on a crack, his or her mother will injure either C1 or C2 along the cervical spine, thus resulting in back pain. If, if, if. Worry, worry, worry. You never call your mother anymore.

While the mass media play their part in keeping the public paralyzed in fear, the current political climate in which we find ourselves also uses fear as a manipulative tool. Is such fear justified -- especially that of terrorism? Rainer Huck, a "freelance philosopher" (his words) and "full-time nut-job" (my words), recently ran for mayor of Salt Lake City, garnering an overwhelming 37 out of the 27,239 votes cast in the mayoral primary. In addition to the many opinions shared on his campaign's website, he attempted to unnerve the Salt Lake City voter by sharing such lightbulb ideas as "Mass transit is also vulnerable to terrorist activity" and "A few employees with concealed carry permits would be much more effective in deterring... terrorist activity." His fear is vindicated, as top military leaders recently revealed the top three targets for al Qaida terrorists to be the White House, the Statue of Liberty and TRAX.

They hate our freedom and commuters from Sandy.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Safety Council, the odds are better that a person will die from heart disease (1 in 5), cancer (1 in 7), a car accident (1 in 84), suicide (1 in 119), a firearm assault (1 in 314), drowning (1 in 1,008), a motorcycle accident (1 in 1,020), fire or smoke (1 in 1,113), a bicycle accident (1 in 4,919), an accidental firearm discharge (1 in 5,134), a railway accident (1 in 6,842), excessive cold (1 in 8,389), excessive heat (1 in 9,396), accidental electrocution (1 in 9,968), alcohol poisoning (1 in 10,048), dying in the bathtub (1 in 10,455), a hornet or bee sting (1 in 56,789), legal execution (1 in 62,468), or lightning (1 in 79,746) than from a terrorist attack (1 in 88,000).

Odds are better that I'll die from suicide? Perhaps I shouldn't fear terrorists killing me, as much as I should fear me killing myself.

I recently saw the film "The Brave One," starring Jodie Foster as an NPR-type radio host turned revenge-seeking vigilante, similar to the remake of the movie "Taxi Driver," starring the host of "Delilah After Dark." While I've seen films both violent and gory, I found myself uncharacteristically emotionally attached to this film and preempted an oncoming anxiety attack by actually walking out of the theatre. The film brought up in me old emotions I once experienced many years ago when I was attacked and beaten -- similar to Jodie Foster's character -- while in high school. Like her character in the film, I recall being terrified of everything that breathed and empathized with her desire to protect herself. Unlike her character though, I decided I would no longer live in fear.

I've looked back on my life in the many years that passed since my attack, and I realize that to live the rest of my life in fear would have been to live a very handicapped, crippled and pathetic life (no offense to the handicapped, the crippled and Corey Feldman). We can live our life in fear of everything from carbon dioxide to terrorism or we can decide that no one can dictate our lives with fear in a Svengali-type manner -- whether the media or the government.

Franklin D. Roosevelt said it best when he said: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

As for those suffering from phobophobia -- the fear of fear -- they're on their own.

Don't Throw Out Your TV Yet

(This article was published in the
September 13th, 2007 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle)

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The following article is brought to you by CBS: "Pioneering the Anti-reality of Beautiful Women Marrying Unattractive Fat Men since 1998 (i.e. the year 'The King of Queens' aired)."

Everyone's heard, at some point in his or her life, the more-pretentious-than-Frasier phrase "I don't own a television." This phrase always ends in "television" and not "TV;" a person too pretentious to own a television is most likely too pretentious to abbreviate.

I bring this up because I recently heard a potential employer proudly declare in a job interview -- for a job I didn't want -- that he did not own a TV. Would I have wanted to be employed by an individual who not only ostentatiously informed others of his refusal to own a television, but was just slightly less morally superior than all 22 episodes of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip?"

I'm not blind to the fact that millions, if not hundreds, of people have made the personal decision of not owning a TV. Having once worked for the Nielsen TV Ratings, the company responsible for tallying America's favorite TV shows (including all 12 versions of CSI), I definitely understand why many people have become disillusioned with owning a TV. Why own a TV, considering that America was unable to feign enough interest in "Arrested Development" for more than three years, despite "Cops" showing no signs of slowing after 19? Why own a TV when the top rated television show of last year was the intellectually stimulating "American Idol," while "Nova" placed somewhere between "Masterpiece Theatre" and a bowl of stewed okra?

We've all heard the reasons for not owning a TV: "TV is too manipulative, whereas NPR doesn't have cliffhangers." "Kill your TV, or at least send it to serve in Iraq." "Nothing is good on TV, or at least hasn't been since both Frank Sinatra and 'Seinfeld' decided to expire on the same day."

In summary, TV must be bad.

But wait just a red hot commercial break! Is TV really as morally vacuous as "The Jerry Springer Show" and as worthless as "My Mother the Car"?

Philo Farnsworth, who invented the TV, was once recorded as saying to his son Kent, "There's nothing on (television) worthwhile...and I don't want it in your intellectual diet." The man responsible for the invention that made it possible for TV dinners, "The Surreal Life," and "The Rachel," appeared only once on television, on "I've Got a Secret." Despite this initial reluctance and disappointment with television, Farnsworth said to his wife years later, after being emotionally moved while watching Neil Armstrong land on the moon, "Pem, this has made it all worthwhile."

This was of course followed up with "Pem, I want my MTV."

Television was preceded by radio, which was preceded by newspapers, which was preceded by gossipy neighbors. While there's no question that the human race existed comfortably for millennia before the inception of the television, it has brought with it the ability to experience and communicate as has never been possible. Because of television, the human race has been privy to witness incredible historical events, such as the first human on the Moon, The Beatles playing on "The Ed Sullivan Show," the fall of the Berlin Wall, Edward R. Murrow's criticism of the Red Scare, the international Olympic Games, inaugurations of U.S. Presidents, and Cher winning the Oscar for "Moonstruck."

While television has recently come under fire for a decline in quality, it also continues to offer a wide variety of respectable and educational programs. Roscoe Orman, the actor who plays Gordon on the television show "Sesame Street," recently gave a lecture in Salt Lake City where he cajoled the virtues of his television show, including the astounding fact that "Sesame Street" has educated more than 75 million children. One cannot discredit all television without at least acknowledging that many educational and informative television shows -- on both PBS and other networks -- have aired over the past decades.

The television may not be perfect, but like food, love, and the Internet, the key is self-control. The solution is not ridding oneself of television, but rather being more particular about the time spent viewing and pragmatic with the content watched. Because of the potential television has in allowing one to become more educated, participate in historical events and become part of an international dialogue, one simply needs to be aware of one's viewing habits.

At the very least, watching television is an excuse to make references to "American Idol," "Arrested Development," "Cops", "CSI: Dallas," "The Ed Sullivan Show," "Frasier," "Friends," "I've Got a Secret," "The Jerry Springer Show," "The King of Queens," "Masterpiece Theatre," "My Mother the Car," "Nova," "See It Now," "Seinfeld," "Sesame Street," "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip," and "The Surreal Life."

After all, how else does one discover who shot J.R.?