May 14th, 2008 issue of the The Daily Utah Chronicle - if this column looks familiar, it's because it's a variation on an old column I wrote about a year ago)
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
This month is the most wonderful time of the year, one may ask? No, it’s not Avoid One’s Family Christmas. Nor, is it our Pretend To Not Be Depressed Valentines Day. It’s not even An Excuse To Dress Like A Superhero or a Whore Halloween. This most wonderful time of the year I’m referring to is the Beginning of Summer – an annual time of year that society looks forward to more than Fundamentalist Christians look forward to the Rapture. This most likely has something to do with the fact that The Rapture is not a sudden ascension into heaven as much as it is a New York post punk revival band.
While Utah’s 17-month long Winter has driven me to look forward to summer myself, I also find myself experiencing another feeling as the days become warmer: dread. I’m sure I’m not alone. True, Summer means vacations, barbecues, Pioneer Day parades and Independence Day celebrations. Summer also means that we’re too fat to wear that swimsuit to a pool party, we feel self-conscious showing skin at the beach, and Free Bikini Day at Brigham Young University is out of the question. Rejections and excuses come fast and furious “I have a dentist appointment . . . I have a funeral to attend . . . I’m the second pregnant man in recorded history, and I have to get ready for Oprah.” Nevertheless, rejections and excuses dry up, and we must face the inevitable.
It’s summer time. And we have body image issues.
With the transition from the cooler seasons to the warmer seasons comes a renewed interest in being buffed, tanned, plucked, coifed and liposucked. Some of us don’t care. Some of us spend all day obsessing. Some of us may even already have the perfect body of Portia de Rossi or Jake Gyllenhaal – and may those people either die, or date me. For the rest of us whose body more closely resembles a mailman than it does a male model, the question of how we’ll look in a swimsuit this summer is a very real issue. Some women become depressed over their bodies. Some men spend thousands of dollars on their bodies. Many go on fad diets consisting of nothing but unsugared lemonade and cayenne pepper to improve their bodies. People even become so desperate that they turn to such people as Dr. Phil.
Personally, I wouldn’t even trust Dr. Phil to recommend a decent restaurant.
While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy, this Dorian Gray mentality of wanting to remain young and beautiful consumes so much of our time and energy that it must be asked – is all the time we donate to the cause of being perpetually young actually worth it? We spend this time as if we – and myself included – are afraid of admitting we’re imperfect and accepting the reality of who we really are. Is there anything wrong with admitting flaws and imperfections? If we already feel self-conscious about our physical health, then isn’t it assumed that obsessing about it will also affect our mental health?
Now of course I, like probably anyone else, believe that there is nothing immoral with having a healthy amount of self-respect. But while I’m not a licensed nutritionist, a personal trainer, a therapist, a researcher, or the-type-of-person-who-should-be-sharing-a-public-opinion, I still do not believe it’s necessary or even healthy to become so overwhelmed with an endless search to be perfect and beautiful that it consumes all of one’s life. As Tyler Durden asks in the movie Fight Club upon seeing an ad of a male model on a bus, “Is that what a real man is supposed to look like?” Are many of us in search of a naïve perfection that doesn’t actually exist, short of plastic surgery, Photoshop, and compulsive lying? Then again, Tyler Durden did in fact have the perfect body, so he may not be the best person to quote. I also don’t know how much merit should be given to a person and their opinions when that person’s person hobbies include blowing up buildings and punching random people.
As the warmer months approach, perhaps we should ask ourselves: are we getting in shape for the summer because we want to be healthier and improve our longevity – or because we don’t feel good about ourselves? Are we trying to reach a positive or avoid a negative? Are we trying to feel better about ourselves or are we trying to avoid feeling bad about ourselves? Are we ready to let go of all our unnecessary, preconceived notions? Are we ready to admit we’re imperfect – and so is everyone else?
Let’s lose weight in order to be healthier. But more importantly, let’s lose this preoccupation with beauty and vanity and perfection that consumes so much of our lives.
As for me, I have a pool party this weekend, and I need to work on my gag reflex if I am to throw up my lunch.
I love this time of the year.
Is this cause I called you fat and ugly the other night at the bar? God Ryan, You've got to learn to let this crap go!
Posted by: Jeremiah | May 14, 2008 at 11:50 AM